STFU

Any time someone speaks unreasonably loud indoors, I spend way too much time trying to figure out if they’re hard of hearing or just incredibly narcissistic.

My vote is usually narcissim. How self-important do you have to be to think you better make sure every word you say is more important than every other sound in a place? Then to speak at that volumen, not caring if anyone in the place would like to not hear a single thing that comes out of your mouth. It’s a fucked up mentality.

In some peoplle it’s forgivable. Teenagers for example. I don’t blame teenagers for the amount of noise they are skin buckets of raging hormones and exagerrated emotions and they are programmed to be as loud as they can be, and not care about the people around them.

But grown adults with, I assume, fully developed reasoning skills? Why?

Maybe I’m just being a grouch. And possibly a little hypocritical considering that I’m certain I was this guy at some point. But holy fuck, can you get back to a point where people are at least a little embarassed at being heard in public?

This post brought to you by the guy at the table behind me in the Delta Sky Lounge in the Denver Airport. Dude, no one cares how you built a church in El Salvador when you were in high school.

Chris Cyr is a writer and nationally touring stand up comedian from St. Louis, Missouri. His album, “Adult Child of Children” will be released on Helium Records in September 2022.